things I have thought during finals week

(Illustrated with my instagram feed – mary.york)

-How many times can you eat pizza in a week before your blood cells turn into marinara sauce?

-Why did I doodle so much in math class and how did I get so good at drawing penguins?


-This paper is supposed to be five pages but I’m only turning in four and a half because someone has to be the rebel.

-I would rather be in the Hunger Games and lose than take this math final.

-Will anyone notice that I slept in this shirt? Nope.

-I’ll bring in donuts – then maybe the professor will like me enough to bump my B to an A.

-I would rather meet a dementor in a dark alley without my wand than take this math final.

-Do beans have fiber?

-Should I get a math tutor?

-Will anyone notice that I haven’t changed this shirt in 48 hours? . . . I’m gonna give this a solid ‘hopefully not.’



-I am going to fail this class.

-Is this tutor seriously touching all of my pens? Can you not just pick one? Do you not already have your own? Will you leave mine alone, please? OH MY WORD, STOP TOUCHING MY PENS, BRUH.

-I would rather be on the Deathstar when Luke blows it up than take this math final.

-Eight pages, I can write than in 90 minutes, right?

-I am going to put on make-up today because it’s finals and I want to rock this! Yeah, nevermind. This isn’t happening.

-Do people hate me?


-Does coffee count as food? It’s a bean, right? So… fiber.

-I would rather sit through a six-hour loop of “Let it Go” than take this math final.

-If I put on enough perfume, this shirt won’t smell like I’ve worn it all week. I’m positive.

-What if I just tell them it’s my “lucky shirt?”

-I would rather get a face tattoo of Justin Bieber than take this math final.

-I would rather go over Niagra falls in a wooden barrel than take this math final.

-How do you turn ⅔ into a decimal?


-I’m going to fail this class.

-I would rather wrestle the alien from ‘Alien’ with my bare hands than take this math final.

-I would rather fight an R.O.U.S. with both hands tied behind my back than take this math final.

-I would rather be set on fire and then buried alive and then dug up and eaten by zombies than take this math final.

:takes math final:


-Well. That was anticlimactic.